where the Bitch found friends

I’ve never been good with friendships or relationships. I either give too much or too little. I demand too much or have low expectations. I make one group happy and I hurt another. Until I decided that I didn’t want to give a shit about it all.

I realized I thought too much about meeting the expectations of other people. And in this world, you can’t make everyone happy. That would drive you nuts. So I stopped investing in relationships or friendships. It worked for me. I had a demanding job and I didn’t have a lot of free time. I’m not the friendliest person around. I hated having to make small talk with people I don’t really know. People have always been intimidated by me. So in short, it was perfect.

Then Qool Media happened. It was crazy. They were crazy. But I loved them that way. Each unique person in that group touched my life in many distinct ways.

Rian – my driver, kidding! Seriously I think he’s the nicest person I know (disclaimer: I don’t know a lot). He’s a really awesome friend, good manager, dependable, all around nice guy. Even if we don’t always agree, he’s got my back. I can depend on him for anything (well except maybe to watch SATC hehehe). I hope he knows I always have his back too.

Debbie and Cielo – one is quirky, one is serious. One is really friendly and the other one is a bitch in training. I have gone through so many issues with them. I think these girls are the only ones who have seen my tears fall (except maybe Bry and Bansil) and my strong personality falter. They know me so well and yet they’re still my friends. Now that’s loyalty. Both are talented. This I can attest to. Debbie’s poems are reflections of who she is, genuine mirrors of her reality and they are beautiful and heart warming – because she is. Cielo is the mistress of the sea, she and her skimboard on the shore create art in brief interludes. The moments are quick but they are pictures of honesty and freedom – both of which she treasures dearly.

Bry and Bansil – now these two are harder to describe but are equally loved. I have always described them as fire and ice. Bry is impulsive, passionate and all fire. Bansil is cool, laid back and all ice. Bry is the son of a bitch, my own. Hahaha. He is like me in many ways and he and I understand each other on almost all levels. Bansil, (his real name is Arnel but to me, Bansil is better. I say it with affection and I remember only him when Bansil is said. Of course, he’s the only one I know – haha) is a most intriguing writer. His subjects are common but his stories are not. What he lacks in relational skills, he makes up with talent. I just know that he will publish stories in the near future, stories that will change lives – I can’t wait. (Hehe Big Chill pa din) It is because of him that I met

Isay – who is like the sunshine. She perfectly complements Bansil’s brooding, James Deanesque aura. She makes me laugh with random quips, I have also seen her at her lowest and for that I am honored. She will always be treasured in my heart.

Aika and Jit – these two girls are the closest to girlfriends I will ever have. Aika is smart, strong willed and possibly one of the fiercest girls I know (there are only 2 others that I know – Aila and Chemae). Of course I meant that in a good way! Jit is smart, gentle and innocent, maybe a little too innocent. But Jit has perfected the balance of nice and naughty – don’t think she doesn’t have claws! She does, it just takes a little time for them to come out. Both are funny, Aika in a sarcastic way and Jit in a “Bridget Ke” sort of way.

ES – merits a space all his own. If I were to have a spawn, I’d want it to be like ES. Incredibly talented, honest and smart but still hungry to learn so much more. (I sure hope this spawn of mine doesn’t get tonsillitis that often though and merits a visit to a cute doctor). He’s one of the best writers I have ever had the pleasure of training and managing. Being trained and managed by me, isn’t the easiest thing. But he persevered and improved and I know he will always keep challenging himself. This is why I will always be proud of him.

Aila, Elaine and Chemae – the Jewel sisters! All three are sweethearts, each unforgettable in her own way. I sometimes think of them as Rian’s posse, hehehe! Where they go, Rian can be found! They have to be incredibly patient to bear with him. Elaine is a wonderful artist with a heart of gold. Aila is fierce and speaks her mind but she can also be sugar and spice! Chemae is gifted with a voice that soothes, she’s usually quiet but her silence belies her depth and strength.

Alfred – is my ideal guy but you will never be privy to the details of that! Hahaha.

Jon – is wonderful. Jon Mactal ha! Hehehe. I will always be grateful to him for helping my friend with “software and hardware”! Hahaha! Many years to you and your girlfriend. Inuman na tayo soon ha!

Paul – is not afraid to learn and experiment. He is possibly the most persevering of all the writers I had. He has grown in so many ways. I believe in you, Paul and I believe in your talent.

Staci – it’s funny how people can grow close despite their physical distance. You are my friend. Be well dear and congratulations on the residence permit!

Marck – the only guy who had the guts to call me “Girl”. GRRR! hahaha!

The bottom line – I miss you all. It’s not the same without you guys. I’ll see you all soon.